Domain Names

Choosing a Domain Name is like Christmas Shopping

Choosing a Domain Name is like Christmas Shopping

Hello! Welcome Back.

I have had a busy week with Christmas and New Year, but I am glad to be back to writing my blog and getting back to business. As a parent of two teenagers, I found choosing the right present difficult and sometimes exhausting. You want to please your kids; you want them to LOVE their gifts, but as they have gotten older, it has become more challenging to figure out which gift is the right one for each.

It used to be so easy; they loved coming up with lists to send to Santa, and I would use those to gear my attention and decision-making. But not anymore.

So, when I reached the point of choosing a domain name for my blog, I had the same difficulty.

Is this the best one? Is that the best one? No, this is not good enough, or I doubt it will work. What would others think of this name? I found myself asking the same questions I would ask about the perfect gift: I would ask about the perfect domain name. The bottom line is there is no such thing!

However, I must decide on a domain name in order to get my blog published.

Finding the best domain name for my blog

Through all the teaching I have received, I knew that finding a good domain name was necessary. Although, as you will see, it needn’t be such a difficult task, it was complicated for me. I have to own that truth, that although I am sure I overthought it, I learned some critical lessons in the process.

Image of .net, .com, .edu signs indicating all the choices one needs to make when picking out a domain name.
Domain names and Internet concept

Picking a domain name was daunting (and, must I say, it needn’t be).

While deciding what to name my blog, I must have bought over 20 domain names on Namecheap. I started with AffiliateInsighter.com, Affiliateblogster.com, and AvidAffiliate.net. The list could go on and on.

But to go back, picking a domain name has six characteristics, here they are: I want a name that will:

  1. end with .com if possible
  2. be short and sweet
  3. be easy to type and spell (so as not to be confused with anyone else’s domain name)
  4. use keywords so people know what the website is about
  5. avoid using hyphens
  6. and for it to be something people can remember

The domain names I mentioned above fit the criteria for the most part. I learned, in my studies, that a blog is a log of your journey. I am the keyword; this website is about me. So, it felt like it made more sense to use my name as a domain name. But I had a dilemma.

Company Name, My Name, or Pseudo”name” (Pseudonym)?

Image of a therapist taking notes (cannot see the faces), indicating my profession as a marriage and family therapist and the conflict I had about whether or not I would like to use a pseudonym.As mentioned before, I am a therapist. I have been working in the mental health field for over 25 years, built a robust and good reputation as a therapist, and developed an excellent private practice. I appreciate the rewards of doing good work by getting referrals from my previous clients. What would happen if a potential client suddenly looked me up and, for some reason, my affiliate marketing blog came up and my other website for my private practice?

Would that be confusing? Is it offputting to find someone you want to be your therapist, doing affiliate marketing?

As a result, I heard that people who don’t want to use their name can create a pseudonym. After all, Agatha Christie wrote several novels of a different genre under the name “Mary Westmacott,” Benjamin Franklin responded to letters under the guise of “Mrs. Silence Dogood,” and CS Lewis wrote under the names of “Clive Hamilton” and “N.W. Clerk,” It was not unusual for people to use pseudonyms for their writing. I’m not comparing myself to these people; I’m just saying that they are all writers who, for various reasons, used pseudonyms for their writing.

So, I began a quest to find the “perfect” pseudonym (I do not recommend finding the perfect anything–it might cost you hours, days, or weeks of valuable time) and spent countless unfruitful hours coming up with a pseudonym that would fit the criteria mentioned before. I am not proposing that getting a pseudonym is wrong to do. In some cases, depending on your day job or if you have other interests that might conflict with this one, a pseudonym is the correct answer. And I thought indeed it was suitable for me.

The Importance of Being Your Authentic Self

But something was not sitting right with me. The whole point of my blog is to be my authentic self.

I didn’t want to pretend to be something I am not, although using a pseudonym is only a name change. I began to feel unsettled. After all, my goal in this blog is to be me, the good, the bad, the ugly (so to speak).

There isn’t anything wrong with starting an online business with affiliate marketing, as I need this business to make extra money for my family and me, which is a worthy cause.

I don’t want to overcharge my clients to make more money. I am doing what I need to do, so I don’t need to worry about potential clients being put off by this blog. After all, many therapists are struggling and need to earn extra income.

But I can be an overthinker, and this whole process of choosing a domain name and then choosing

a pseudonym causes me to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and hopeless sometimes as I consider what I should do.

And then, a bulb clicked over my head, and it was clear.

Using My Name was the Best Way for M.E. to be my Authentic Self

Image of a woman in nature sitting facing the warm sun upon her face looking peaceful that being her authentic self would be the answer to whether or not she should have a pseudonym.

I work with my clients on being authentic. I encourage them to feel confident in who they are and their actions. I encourage them not to be ashamed and to live the life they were meant to live. The answer was there. What would I tell my clients if they came to me?

I need to be myself and use my name as my domain name.

And whatever comes of that, I will deal with it in the future. This whole dilemma kept me confused and stuck for too many days, and I didn’t want to waste time worrying about the future. I had only today, and I want to go forward as ME.

However, to buy my name as my domain name, exactly as written, would cost me far too much money. So, as you can see, I settled on stephgonline.com. I am comfortable with that as most of my friends call me “Steph,” and putting my last name, Gonzales, would be problematic as most people spell Gonzales with a “z” at the end, and that name belongs to another person. I don’t want people accidentally getting lost on someone else’s website.

My domain name fits my criteria as written above. After all, this blog is about me (Steph) and my online business (online).

Stephgonline.com. It turns out that using a pseudonym for blogs is not recommended, as people feel it is more authentic to use your name. I learned that later on my journey, but I am glad to have moved on from this point.

A lesson learned: don’t get caught up in overthinking things. Just being my authentic self is going to have to be enough.

I was just wondering . . .

I’m curious to know what you think about authenticity in blogging. I would love to hear your comments and feedback.

18 Comments on “Choosing a Domain Name is like Christmas Shopping

  1. Stephanie,

    Picking a domain can be a daunting task with so many options to choose from. Often we can get overwhelmed and find ourselves caught frozen because we don’t know how to proceed. I appreciate you laying out some guidelines to help choose an appropriate domain.

    I can also appreciate your desire to be you. As our training shows people are looking for mentors that are transparent and honest. I believe the domain you chose will allow you to accomplish what you set out to achieve.

    Have an awesome day.

    CJ

    1. Thanks for your feedback, CJ; it is great to feel that what I share is relatable. Blogging is such a whole new experience for me. I had no idea that just picking a domain name would cause me to look at myself and my fears about how I was being perceived. Through this process of choosing a domain name, I realized there are compelling reasons for using a pseudonym and my name. When it came down to it, though, the reality is that I have to be ok with being who I am and allowing that to be a plus or minus for those who want me as their therapist.

      I have always loved to write, and I used to keep journals for years and years, but doing it publicly and exposing those areas of confusion or fear is a new thing. I like having this dialogue and conversation with others about these things, though. It makes it much more personal and feels like it is serving a purpose.

  2. Well that was quite a journey! I am glad you settled on a name, and love that you have taken your own advice as a therapist! (I hoped you charged yourself for that session)

    I look forward to seeing how you move forward now the name is settled

    All the best

    1. Hi Tony,

      Thanks for your comment! It was quite a journey, lol! I must say, though, that it was a good experience for me to grapple with some of the imposter syndrome I sometimes encounter. I need this to push me to a different view of myself and how others perceive me. Thankfully, it wasn’t all that expensive, but I must have spent at least $300 on domain names; what a waste of money! But, at least now, I am happy with my chosen choice.

      Thanks for your comment,
      Stephanie

  3. Congratulations for getting the domain name you’re comfortable with.

    You are not alone when it comes to indecision about a domain name.

    I have probably wasted hundreds of dollars registering various domain names that I ended up not using.

    I think this blog post can help a lot of people avoid the same mistake and save them a lot of money.

    1. Hi Alan,

      I hope this blog helps others avoid the mistakes I made. Hundreds of dollars is exactly how much I must have spent doing this. I think I calculated over $300, but it was a good process for me to go through. As I mentioned in another comment, it helped me re-evaluate how I see myself as a therapist and how I am perceived. I hope this blog post does help others avoid the nasty habit of overthinking things and wasting money on useless domain names.

      Thanks for your comment,
      Stephanie

  4. Hi Stephanie,

    I think you selected a great domain name! I can understand it being challenging and especially depending if you’re also working in another field. I think you chose well in the end and the fact you feel comfortable with it is the best proof! Look forward to your next posts and wish you huge success!

    1. Hi Denny,

      Thanks for your encouraging words. I am definitely working on becoming more confident with blogging, I am not going to lie, starting out this way is not easy. But, it is worth it in the long run. I know that there are many lessons I will learn on this path and one of them will be self confidence in regards to the online business I am trying to build. It just takes time and patience. Which are sometimes in short supply, but I am grateful that I have a community of people willing to support me.

      Thanks again for your encouraging words and thank you for your comment,
      Stephanie

  5. Hi Stephanie, thank you for your post.
    I can relate to that, as I was considering many options for a blog domain myself.
    I was given the advice to look at the website ExpiredDomains.net where you can get more ideas for the best domain. But you overcome that. I didn’t go with my name, but my main focus was to have a domain easy to remember.
    Most important that is done and ready to be posted on.
    Looking forward to seeing more articles from you.
    All the best.
    Tom

    1. Hi Tom,

      I never heard of expireddomains.net. I wish I had known that before, but thank you for mentioning it here so that others can know about it! Easy to remember domains are key, I will have to check out your posts as well. Thanks for your comments and I hope to see you here again!

      Best,
      Steph

  6. Hello Stephanie, happy to see I was not alone overthinking my domain name. Like you, I was hesitant about using my own name by fear of being recognized online. Then I realized this was just a lack of self confidence. Affiliate marketing is a real business and I don’t have to fear the judgement of others. My domain name have to represent me and eventually my success. I congratulate you for having done all this rationale and progress on yourself by the same occasion. Continue the good work. I like the way you write.
    Martin

    1. Hi Martin,

      Thanks for your enouragement. I am glad to hear that I was not alone with overthinking my domain name. I know it is an important decision that can’t be taken lightly. But, I am happy with what I ended up with. Majority of my close friends and family call me “steph” so that works. I hope to see you back here again, thank you for engaging my blog, it’s really exciting to see comments!

      Best,
      Steph

  7. Stephanie, I love your domain name. It’s like you are telling yourself to go online “Steph, go online!”. It’s good inspiration. Well done and you are right, be yourself and be authentic. People like honesty not pretend and fake. It’s amazing how interest people are in each other. They encourage the guide and help. I can’t wait to see your next post. Thanks, Atif

  8. Stephanie, coming up with a domain name can indeed feel a bit overwhelming. I totally get it – I had my share of struggles with various options before settling on using my own name too. The key lesson here is not to overthink it too much. I genuinely believe you made a fantastic choice with your domain name!
    Sherri

    1. I know that for me I can be one who overthinks things, sometimes it adds value and other times it is a completely distracting from the task at hand. Thanks Sherri for your encouragement. It is much appreciated.

      Warm regards,
      Steph

  9. Stephanie, Great post! Now that you have brought this task to light its amazing to see just how many of us go through the same problem. I really enjoy your thought process and rationale. I look forward to seeing more of your posts.

    1. Yes! I suspected I was not the only one who had gone through this sort of thing, but it was certainly welcoming to hear from others who had! Thank you for your encouragement and support.

      Warm regards,
      Steph

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